Tuesday, July 15, 2008
got GOD?
this is no email. we need stuff more personal than that.
if you hear God today, do not harden your heart.
feel emo? feel let down? betrayed? lost someone or some people who were important to you? or maybe the world ain't giving you a break. maybe someone stole your thunder. not getting the credit you feel you deserve? this job you are doing doesnt seem to be reaping any results no matter how hard or what you try. you know something is wrong with the whole thing but you can't do anything about it. abandoned by people you cared most about? or maybe that.... rahhh!!! just came in and ruined everything.
yeah well, if you feel that way, welcome to my life.
everyday there's something that's gonna bring you down.
and when there's an UP, it's short-lived.
ok take a moment now, and just think about it. everything or everyone you feel that really drives you nuts and makes you angry or sad. let the anger fill you. that's what i like to do. sometimes i punch the wall too. feel all the depression inside. it's ok if you feel like you wanna cry now. sometimes you just gotta let it out.
i don't pretend to be perfect, cos i definitely am not.
i pretend to be ok. but sometimes i ain't.
well, i don't really know what to say or how to continue, cos i'm writing all this on the spot.
i don't mean to lecture, and i don't mean to preach. i don't think i have enough biblical knowledge or all that theological prowess to get everything right in this post.
i'm just trying to write all this from a personal level to all PLHers who actually bother to visit this blog. cos someone around our age has gotta care enough to say something, right?
basically, i've been feeling a lot of crap. and i guess some or most of you are feeling that way too. but you know what, if you aren't, maybe you should be worried. a christian is not supposed to have it easy in this life. either God's gonna test us, or the world's gonna reject us for following Him. (if you really ARE following him)
but recently, i realised there's a way out. or rather, i re-realised. cos i always fall away, and then come back again.
i don't have a way of getting rid of the problems, but i've found a way to face them. and even if the problems don't go away, i'm still at peace.
my dad said something that night which i found to be really true:
most of us believe in God, we just don't believe that God matters.ask yourself honestly if this is true for you. cos i admit it has been true for me sometimes.
i needed to rededicate my life back to Him again. and i've done that lots of times in the past year or so.
what i've also decided to do recently is to have a more disciplined lifestyle (due to all the commitments i have, i need really good time management). but it's really tiring and i knew the only way i was gonna accomplish it was to ask God for help.
i start my day at about 5plus or 6am and do my Quiet Time and Bible reading. then a good prayer to kickstart the day. fill myself with God's strength and asking Him to be with me throughout the day. it really makes a difference!!
if you feel that you can't wake up early or don't have the time for all this Quiet Time stuff, then here's another saying which i believe in:
if something is important to you, you will definitely find the time for it.this is really true. football is very important to me, so i'll find the time to play or watch it, even if i have to sacrifice my studying time, which is not that important to me, so i don't make time to do it sometimes. (this is not a good example, but's it's the only thing i can think of now)
HOW IMPORTANT IS GOD TO YOU?aha! brain starting to think a little bit now? this applies to activities, or friends, etc.. what REALLY is important to you?well, i've realised that i also depend on my own strength alot. and most of the time, this doesnt work.
then i also depend on friends alot. don't get me wrong, friends are great and everything, but hey, face it, they've got their own lives and problems too. they ain't gonna be there forever. sometimes they just leave you. friends may not want you around all the time, but God DOES.
oh and then there's your boyfriend/girlfriend. i hope you don't have one, but if you do, i'll leave you to find out for yourself. until you're mature enough i think it's just gonna cause pain in the end. when will you be mature enough? not while you're in PLH. i don't have the experience to touch on this, but hey, i know people who have. anyways, i hope the talk during easter retreat spoke to you.
some people who probably will never forsake you are your family, but dad and mum won't be around forever. (touchwood) no offence. but really, life is unpredictable.
there's only one who's gonna be around forever and that's God.
it's taken me a while to realise that He's the only one who's gonna be there for me forever. even if the whole world comes crashing down, as long as i've got Him, i'll be okay. lots of faith and trust needed though. and things really ARE easier said than done.
if you feel you ain't getting the credit you think you deserve, or feeling the love and care you should be feeling, it's becos you aren't looking for it from the right person. no matter how "good" or how "lousy" you are, God loves you just the same. and it is in Him where we should find our self-security or self-esteem. we should be looking to please God, and not man. so we should not be looking for credit from people. if something you do displeases people or your friends, but pleases God, then JUST DO IT! (Nike)
store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, not on earth.
okay, i really am not sure how to end this post, impromptu stuff ain't easy to pull off sometimes.
maybe i can seperate it into 2 things:
if you think you're ok, maybe you need to think again. cos some people REALLY do not think there is anything wrong with them or their lives. (Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.")
if you know you're NOT ok, you need to go back to God. (Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.")
maybe you need to pray more too. or start reading the Bible and doing Quiet Time
regularly.
if you need/want to rededicate your life back to God, do not hesitate.
i hope this post has spoke to you somehow. cos in writing this very long post, i have disrupted my new disciplined lifestyle. which requires sleeping at about 11.30pm to wake up at around 5.30am. (6 hours of sleep usually is quite good, but football training takes ALOT out of you!!) it's now 11.55pm. haha. but hey, this is more important.
my alarm clock will still ring at 5.30am tmr. and as for that undone homework that is due tmr, i've done the more important homework on this blog. and i'll ask God to deliver me from my teachers haha!:p
i'm not gonna ask you to have a great week ahead.
i'm telling you to have a God-centred life.
if you hear God today, do not harden your heart.
I-Zack
PLHers rocked out @ 9:34:00 PM!
